what better way to reward yourself than to go out to
joe's hardware and buy a crowbar and tear up some stuff?
we couldn't think of anything, so we decided to use
crowbars as our rating guide.
 |
1
crowbar |
watching this kind of movie creates hemorrhoids
of the mouth. in fact, gouging your eyeballs with a
crowbar is less painful than watching a flick of this
nature. these movies are automatically thrown into
the BAP, the_crowbar's bucket of alien phlegm.
reference: the
BAP. |
|
2
crowbars |
the cover looks good, but the chicks don't. the
xfl was better than this. never will rent this again.
reference: popcorn. |
|
3
crowbars |
a solid weekend rental. we'd watch it again. some
blood. some bad dialog. just a little too painful,
though, for ownership. reference: slave girls from
beyond infinity. |
| |
4
crowbars |
either we own this one, or we will own it. it
rules. there is lots of blood and guts, and it
reminds us of bad taste or bruce campbell. reference:
sleepaway camp. |
|
|
5
crowbars |
reserved only for the best movies, 5 crowbars
means this is a regular lunchtime topic. we recommend
exuming your dead pets so they can watch this movie
with you. the first movie to have this honor: none
other than clive barker's nightbreed. |
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